French Tourist’s Speedo Spontaneously Combusts   Leave a comment

SKIMPY Speedos are the preferred beach attire of Frenchmen, who usually wear them with no ill effects.

By C. Michael Forsyth

MIAMI — As 51-year-old French tourist Jean-Claude Rumiere strutted down Miami Beach in a Speedo, he hoped to dazzle lady beachgoers with the sight of his pudgy bod in all its glory. But that plan went up in smoke when his skimpy swimwear mysteriously burst into flame!

More than 20 eyewitnesses watched aghast as the businessman’s teensy bikini-style trunks became enveloped in what they describe as a “bright bluish blaze” and were reduced to ashes within seconds.

“The guy was waddling down the beach with his gut hanging out over his tight bathing suit and his ‘package’ on full display,” said eyewitness Bill Yerling, 38. “He obviously thought he looked great, but it was pretty gross. I covered my daughter’s eyes and a lot of people were glaring at him.

“Suddenly smoke started to come from his Speedo and it caught fire. The guy screamed his head off and ran into the water to put it out.”

Rumiere suffered second-degree burns on his buttocks and genitals, say police, who are investigating the bizarre August 12 incident.

Psychic researcher Lee-Anne Pryce calls it an apparent case of spontaneous human combustion or SHC. She believes that the hostile stares of dozens of beachgoers combined into highly focused psychic energy.

“It’s called the social pyrokinetic effect, and it’s believed to be responsible for about 1 in 5 cases of SHC,” explained Atlanta-based Pryce.

“We all have heard of the experiment in which hundreds of college students were instructed to concentrate on a candle in the middle of a stadium and ‘will’ it to light. Famously, they succeeded. In the Miami case something very similar occurred. The only difference was that the energy was directed unconsciously.”

Pryce recounted a 1972 case in which a British bride burst into flame at the altar as several of the groom’s former girlfriends stared angrily at her.

“In that instance, the long, flowing gown went up like a Roman candle and the victim was quickly incinerated,” the expert noted. “Most cases of SHC are fatal. What probably saved Mr. Rumiere is that the article of clothing that caught fire was so small.”

Copyright C. Michael Forsyth

The author of this article also wrote the acclaimed horror novel Hour of the Beast. In the opening chapter, the unthinkable happens. Then things get out of hand.

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